Self Validation

What is self-validation?

We must learn to accept our internal experiences, all of our feelings & thoughts too.

We must encourage ourselves to be our best whilst acknowledging our strengths, successes, progress & effort.

It is normal to want validation from others. However, some of us seek external validation to an unhealthy level. We rely on others to make us feel worthy & accepted. We then doubt our abilities if we do not hear what we want. It can make us question our worth if others don’t value us.


Relying on external validation by itself can cause depression, anxiety & a lack of confidence. 

We have to learn to prioritise our needs & treat ourselves with kindness. The words we say to ourselves have a huge impact. Do not speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body believes whatever you tell it. Words are energy. We must also be mindful of the emotion attached to the words we use.


Whilst accepting the good, we must accept the things that are not so good, such as our flaws, mistakes & limitations. If we do not accept these we cause emotional distress.



Why we must validate ourselves?


Validating your thoughts and emotions will help you be calm and manage them more effectively, and you will understand yourself better. It leads to a stronger relationship with yourself & allows you to manage your emotions.

Before validating ourselves, we must be mindful & self-aware.


It is a skill that takes practice. It will become second nature to validate yourself eventually. The better at validating yourself, you'll seek less external validation, therefore, having less tolerance for people invalidating you too.



Think about these:

- Talk to yourself like someone you love.

- Surround yourself with positive people.

- My feelings are valid.

- I am proud of myself.

- What do I need to cope or feel better?

- I am making progress.

- I am worthy.

- My self-worth is not based on other people's opinions.

- Everyone makes mistakes.

- My feelings matter, I will listen to them

- I trust my instincts.

- Not everyone will like me, that's okay.

- Give your self some love.

Accept your feelings

Feel the emotions that come to your body. Observe how you feel, from within. Think about what you need. Do you need to stop certain habits & swap them for better ones?

Avoid self-pity talk

Praise yourself, do not shame yourself, and acknowledge good things.

Celebrate your accomplishments

This will build your self-esteem & confidence, even celebrate the small ones. Remember that no matter what anyone says to you or about you, you are in charge of your own life. Speak kind words to yourself & know that everything always works out, you have not lived your best days yet.


You create your life, do not give anyone else the power to do so.

Leave a comment below & let me know how this article has helped you out :) 

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With love,